Is Santa Real? The Mommy Wars.

My kids are past that Santa stage.  It's a little sad at times, but we have little neighbors who fill my heart with the magic of Christmas.  There is an ugly side to Santa, though, and it's making me bonkers.

I get so frustrated with parents who accuse those of us who choose to share the Santa story as being "liars".  It's one of the huge things in Mommy Wars, along with breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding and working from home vs. staying at home that really gets under my skin. Doing one vs. the other is not superior.  Period.

Here's the deal, folks.  SANTA IS REAL!  It is not a lie.  If someone asked me if my Grandma was real, I'd say a firm, "Yes!"  She was very real.  She and I bargain shopped for groceries, we woke early to scrub the kitchen floor, and she left M&Ms on her coffee table for us.  She is very real, still in my heart today.  If someone asks my kids "Is Peepa" is real?" they would say "Yes!"  They were never alive when he was, but they know every story, carry on some of his traditions, and have his sarcastic sense of humor, especially my eldest son.

"Mommy, is Santa real?"  "Yes.  He is real."  There is no lie there.

When they were old enough to figure out that maybe Santa didn't bring presents, and they asked the question that way, I fessed up.  I told them that I didn't lie.  Santa is real, just like Peepa, but sadly he died.  He had a tradition of anonymously giving gifts to the poor, sick, and needy.  He sold all of his worldly goods to do that, and he was a very rich man.  He is believed to have given three sisters gold so that they would have a dowry and could marry.  So it's our tradition to keep up his tradition and give gifts at Christmas to children.

How is that not real?  How did I lie?  And how are you telling the truth when you say he isn't real?  My kids who knew took pride in continuing Saint Nick's traditions for those who didn't.  And when my younger son asked the question, the whole family was disappointed.

Here's the thing, I know great moms who breastfed, and those who couldn't or chose not to.  I know great moms who worked out of the home, those who stayed at home, and those who worked out of their house.  I know those who didn't tell their kids the Santa story and those who did.  Since when did we have to declare our superiority because of our choices?  If you don't beat/starve/hate your child, I agree that you're a better mother than those who do.  These other things, though, really don't make you superior, they just make you snarky.

So, during this Christmas time, let's warm with our own traditions, share them with others, but keep our thoughts about what is best to ourselves.  After all, our choices may be best because they are for our families, but they are not the best choices for another one.

Merry Christmas!